I love dental hygiene

...when it is done right.

And the people at the dental office of Richard Ellis II and Richard Ellis III know how to do it right!!

I've got to work Fridays at this office for the last 9 months. I have worked Monday-Friday since January and me and Jonathon joke that my weekend begins on THURSDAY night because I just LOVE being at the Ellis's on Fridays so much! It honestly doesn't feel like work at all.

I wanted to share a cool thing from this last Friday.

About four months ago, I got the chance to do a "deep cleaning/Scaling and Root Planing" on a patient from Australia who has not had dental care in quite some time. After the initial visit, these patients come back every 3-4 months for a "periodontal maintenance" cleaning to keep the disease away. I was excited to see his name on the schedule since he was such an interesting, fun guy!

When I laid the chair back and had him open on up, I mentioned how his gums looked much healthier since his first visit and there was a lot less build up- (This makes hygienists VERY happy! In a way I can't explain through this blog! He responded saying:

"Well, I haven't had a cigarette since our last appointment! This time I quit for ME, and that's made all the difference."

I couldn't believe it. I was SO PROUD. And I couldn't stop noticing/commenting on how much healthier his mouth was because of it. He'd also been using a WaterPik daily and trying to floss throughout the week too which of course helps too!

It is times like this that I LOVE LOVE LOVE that I get this chance to be a dental hygienist and meet such awesome people. And to be able to SEE the positive effects I have on them! I can't believe I get to be so lucky to have this career that is so perfect for me in so many ways and especially to have been able to work with the Ellis's to show me my potential by their confidence in me. I will be forever grateful.

OH! And if you ever need a dentist, I will recommend them a million times- they are the best!

Getting excited for life!

Well, the title pretty much says it all. Exciting things happening in our future:

1. Jonathon is GRADUATING from BYU on academic scholarship

2. Nancy is running her first MARATHON

3. Moving to Washington!

4. Nancy is taking a dental restorative class to learn how to do fillings

-I can't wait to be in school again! Oh how I've longed to LEARN again!!

5. Getting to put in my two weeks notice at gay dental offices

6. HUCK CAMP family reunion

7. Getting to decorate our own little home again FINALLY

-getting to have a place bigger than just ONE ROOM in my mom's basement

8. Jonathon getting his first "big boy" job (and paycheck!)

9. Getting to play with my new nephew!

10. Possible vacations??

11. Buying Nancy her first pair of nice jeans- ever.

12. Thinking of the FUTURE future and that it gets to come up sooner than later in our future... buying our first home, having our first baby, having our own separate cars, etc etc. I guess that is the next phase of life- and it's gonna be so fun!

Sighhh. Can you see why I daydream so often? So excited for LIFE.

Jonno's opinions on the marriage topic

This is in regards to my ever so controversial post on facebook regarding the marriage dilemma.

President Monsons comments are spot on, but the applicability is somewhat limited to the 20 somethings. There are men in that age group who forgo opportunities because they are just having too much fun, or one of the other reasons he stated. In that age group, there are tons of opportunities, and plenty of willingness from the female gender. Even a considerable amount of eagerness from women who are approaching their mid-late 20s. So for the 20 something crowd, I believe the comments by the prophet are accurate and applicable.

Come mid 30s to mid 40s . . . not as applicable. It is no longer as easy as one may believe and if you have not experienced it yourself, you only think you know the answer, but I'd imagine that until you experience it you will never know exactly what it is like.

Women:

Many women have fallen into a trap of only complaining that they are not married, but taking no responsibility for it. The most common pitfalls I have seen are:

-Unrealistic expectations of a prospective spouses financial, spiritual, and physical eligibility (ie Gates money, Brad Pitt looks, and Spencer Kimballs spirituality).

-Unrealistic self perceptions. .to both extremes. Some believe they are far more eligible than they actually are, others believe they are not good enough for anyone to love, so the pre-empt the rejection by rejecting themselves.

-Make their lives so busy that they do not have time to date . . this includes church callings, extended education, family commitments every single weekend, GNO every weekend.

-Limiting factors Setting age limits on dating. It is one thing for a 25yr old woman to say she wont date a 40yr old. Its a whole different thing when a 39yr old wont date a 40yr old (and that happens a lot).

-Girl Groups that sabotage each other so they wont lose another single girlfriend from their group.

-Inability to disassociate previous baggage from current reality. They hold onto bad experiences from the past, and are convinced that all future experiences will be the same. (physical abuse, porn addictions, WOW problems, fidelity issues).

-A belief that ALL men are unworthy

-They have let themselves go to the point where they are not physically attractive, and their personalities are not attractive either.

-Princess complex everything is the mans responsibility, the women has to do nothing , and that includes returning a phone call, accepting a date, or even holding up their end of the conversation.

Men:

Many men have fallen into a trap of only complaining that they are not married, but taking no responsibility for it. The most common pitfalls I have seen are:

-Barbie complex . . Believing that there is a supermodel dying to get into bed with them, so they wont settle for anything less.

-Unrealistic self perceptions. .to both extremes. Some believe they are far more eligible than they actually are, others believe they are not good enough for anyone to love, so the pre-empt the rejection by rejecting themselves.

-Having too much fun hanging with the guys

-Limiting factors Setting age limits on dating. There are 50 year old guys who wont date over 35 because they want kids some day.
-Lost self confidence due to high percentages of rejection. In a straw poll amongst single men over 31 who attend the single adult wards/branches . . for every 10 girls they ask out, on average only 1.5 attempts are resulting in a date. Thats only a 15% success factor! And less than half those accept a second date. In fact, most women wont even bother to answer the phone or return the phone call when a guy calls, yet these same women complain to their bishops that they never get asked out.

Church:

There is another factor impacting dating and marriage amongst the LDS population, that I do not believe receives proper consideration. Somewhere along the way in an attempt to empower women to find self confidence in being a women . . . church messages have evolved to sending the message that women are completely flawless, and men are the source of all evil in the world. Very rarely is there a message from the pulpit praising men, and even more rare are messages from the pulpit telling women to get their act together.

A good example of this is the Porn issue. Have you ever heard a talk to the women about pornography? Yet I know several active LDS women who have told me directly they are addicted to porn, and its the hard core video stuff they are watching online . . . not just nudie pictures. Somehow they find a way to blame men for their own porn addiction, yet these same women have very harsh statements about men who are addicted to porn.

Another example, amongst the single adults who claim activity in the church . . . I know more women with word of wisdom and chastity issues, than men. Yet . . . most talks on these topics are directed towards men.

How often do we hear about gender attraction issues amongst women in the church? I know about an equal number of lesbian women as gay men in the single adult population . . . yet . . . we only hear about the gay men.

I have heard local leaders call single men stupid, lazy, too picky and other negative comments, while in the same conversation praise the virtue and discernment of attractive women who refuse to date.

Media:

Yes, I blame media for part of the problem. How many solid male role models do we see on TV? Most family men are portrayed as idiots, and most single men are portrayed as rebels. Its the male version of what we accuse the media doing with regards to developing unrealistic expectations of women. This only re-enforces pre-conceived notions amongst both men and women about eligibility.

Conclusions:

I could go on and on . . but I really dont feel like it. So in conclusion:

-Within the church, the 20 something crowd is very different than the 30 something and 40 something crowd. To believe the issues are identical is a misplaced belief.

-To presume that men are entirely to blame regarding the marriage issue is a falsely placed belief. Both genders carry an equal portion of the blame.

-Men still have the responsibility to do the asking, but women have the responsibility to accept dates, and do so with a mind open enough to consider their date as a long term possibility.

-All men should buy a luxury sports car and drive it to church. That has gotten me more dates from women in the church than anything else. Single women who would not even say hello to me one day, suddenly were approaching me and flirting with me the next. Oh and get ripped and learn to play the guitar.

That is all.

More random memories of Grandpa

More random memories of Grandpa:

*When Jonathon and I got engaged, I called one night and asked if Grandpa could keep his eyes out for a couch for us to use in our first apartment at the garage sales he loved to go to. He sounded grumpy but said 'okay.' The next morning he called us at 8 o'clock and told us to come pick up this couch he'd bought at a yard sale. I couldn't believe it!
*He came to all my lacrosse games, basketball games, and band performances. Every birthday dinner. Paid for every boating trip to Lake Powell, 4th of July breakfast, and annual Richards Golf Tournament. Even though at the end of them, he'd always seem grumpy and wanting to go home, you know he loved getting to be there and wouldn't miss it for the world.
*He helped my mom fix her car and house so many times when she came to him needing help
*He came up to Portland for my wedding in the Portland temple
*He was the first person I wrote about in my first journal when i was 8 years old. I wrote about how my grandpa sent me a $50 bill (I had never seen one in person before!) because he couldn't come to my baptism and that was the COOLEST THING.
*When Grandpa told me I had left my hotmail email account open on his computer and he saw I had 754 unread messages so he tried to delete them all. Thank goodness he couldn't figure it out.. He was amazed I could have so many unread emails. I've been working on that investment for years!
*Grandpa loved those little hard Oats n' Honey granola bars in the green packaging. I loved them with him.
*Grandpa always laughed when I'd come over and head straight for the "candy drawer" in the corner of their kitchen and tell me something about how he couldn't believe a dental hygienist could love candy so much and how I must have ten cavities with all the candy I eat.
*He loved his stupid dog Koko. A stinky black pug that he picked out himself at the pound. About a week after their dog Canon died, Grandpa came home with Koko. I researched the pug breed and found listing after listing of how they are smelly, mis-behaved, shedding, farting, snoring, stubborn dogs. And Grandpa LOVED her. She'd fall asleep on his lap all the time. She was his little girl. He especially loved that she didn't bark, unlike Cosmo. :) He hated how Cosmo barked so much and even bought him a bark collar once that Grandma refused to put on him because she thought it was inhumane.
*In my semi-final lacrosse game, during warm-ups, my grandpa came walking across the field from the fan side to where we were practicing. He told me "Nancy, when you captains go to the middle to flip for which side to take first, you need to shoot South first. In 45 minutes, the sun will be setting and will go right into the other goalie's eyes and she won't be able to stop your shots. You understand me?" When the time came, I called for heads and we won the toss. Following my Grandpa's advice, we shot South first. Grandpa always claimed he won that game for us. Haha. Some old guy sitting on the sideline won the game without even lifting a finger! :)
*Every summer our family went to Lake Powell. When we were younger, my grandpa would let us sit on his lap and drive the boat. We all loved this. We also loved how he would create the BEST waves for us to go over and try to throw us off the tube. His boat was named "Tooth Fairy."
*When I was little, I LOVED going to Grandpa's dental office because of the treasure chest. My favorite thing in the world was the rings. They were just those little 25 cent fancy looking rings for little girls. And since I was his grand daughter, I could take as many as I wanted. I took at least one for each finger every time. :)

Sigh, I want to write down everything I can remember for fear of forgetting it down the road as I get older. I love my Grandpa and I'm grateful I was old enough to get to know him on a more personal level before he died. Even now that he is gone, I've continued to learn things from him and about him that amaze me. He is the closest person I've ever had in my life to die. It leads one to wonder about what happens after death and makes the Atonement and the Plan of Salvation so much more meaningful, important, and personal. I know if we live our lives right, we'll be together again.

People keep asking if I'm okay and I feel like.. I can't say I feel TOO sad or bad. Of course it'll be hard not having him around, but he lived a long, successful, great life and got to "go" in a relatively easy way without much suffering. He got to enjoy life by eating whatever he wanted, drinking soda, not exercising, going on cruises, didn't get so old that he couldn't drive anymore, didn't have to experience being a "vegetable" at all or deal with losing his pride in having to wear Depends. He had started having episodes of Alzheimers more recently and who knows how hard that would have been down the road.. He had his stroke shortly after an amazing three week cruise to Europe and South America. He didn't have to suffer much pain and yet lived long enough after the stroke to allow time for his family and friends to accept our loss and say goodbye; so it wasn't completely unexpected.

I felt peace when I said goodbye to my grandpa. I'm happy for him to be able to move on the the next step of life, where he doesn't have any pain or worries. I'm grateful for everything he taught me and continues to teach me through the way he lived his life. I love you Grandpa!

Ways Grandpa and Grandma Richards helped us through school

Grandpa and Grandma helped me and Jonathon get through school probably more than anyone else (besides my mom who has allowed us to live at her place to save money and pay tuition--thanks mom!). They were not able to help us pay for school financially, but they helped us in ways that were equally important at that time of our lives. Words cannot express how grateful we are for them. Here are just a few ways:

1) They let Cosmo stay at their house for about 1 1/2 years while we had an apartment that didn't allow dogs. Cosmo loved them both but especially Grandma and felt like he had to "protect" her every time Grandpa came in the room and he'd bark his head off at him. Cosmo also had a "marking territory" problem and basically owned their house, which we felt REALLY bad about. I know this wasn't easy or convenient for them, but they knew it was a way they could help us at a time in need instead of us having to give Cosmo away. :( That would have broke my heart.

2) They let us borrow a car ANY TIME we needed it. Our car Lexie broke down NUMEROUS times during school and every time, we would call them up and they'd let us borrow one of their cars, even if it meant they would have to find rides to get around. They knew how much we needed it and would appreciate it. They even let us borrow their big, old suburban for about 3 months to finish the school year out. Every time we started up that old suburban, everything about it reminded us of Gene! It was a big, loud, sturdy car that was always there for us when we needed it. Grandpa and Grandma were genuinely SO EXCITED for us to finally get a new car that worked - not just because now they wouldn't have to lend theirs, but because they saw all the struggles we'd been through and how we were really trying our best to pay for school and save our money.

3) They let us do laundry at their place anytime.

4) They let us come over and eat. This was Jonathon's favorite. Every time we went over, Grandma would tell him to help himself to whatever they had, and he would! She also would make YUMMY dinners and send us home with left overs. Grandma loved having us over because we would compliment her meals so much-- they were always so good! Since we didn't have much money, we usually ate Top Ramen (or TR as we called it) or some other cheap stuff. Needless to say, we always felt like we were eating like KINGS at Grandma's house and I think that made Grandma feel good. :)

5) They treated us by taking us OUT to eat. The first time Jonathon met Grandma and Grandpa, they took us to Chuck-a-Rama. One of our favorites was when the four of us went to Famous Dave's BBQ. We had a great time and Grandpa and Grandma's eyes were sparkling as they told us all their stories.

6) They were great examples for us. Grandpa loved his family. He supported his family his entire life financially, emotionally, and spiritually. He was smart and was a doctor of dentistry. This allowed him to provide a great life for his family and provide opportunities for success. They love the gospel. I am constantly amazed by Grandma's testimony and how knowledgable she is in the Gospel. Grandpa was very honest- one time at our 4th of July breakfast up at Brighton, he needed to pay for someone's breakfast from the year before that hadn't been paid for. The kid helping him told him not to worry about it but he INSISTED he pay to make it right. And they love America and what it represents, that's why Grandpa loved bald eagles so much.

7) They listened to us and we all had some GREAT conversations. I can't count how many nights Jonathon and I stayed up talking with Grandpa and Grandma in their front room. We heard all of Grandpa's jokes and stories at least a couple times, and got advice from them. Grandpa and Grandma LOVED Jonathon because he is as big of a BYU fan as they are, which is hard to do!

My new blog

I've decided to create a blog to track my running and training for my marathon I'll be running in June.

happyrunningduck.blogspot.com

Enjoy! :)

Gene M. Richards, DDS, Grandpa, Dad, Friend, My Biggest Fan in Lacrosse

*** This is a LONG post about my Grandpa Richards. My main purpose in writing this is to have a record of my memories of Grandpa and Grandma Richards, and secondly for people to enjoy and learn about a great man. I love my grandparents more than I know how to write in this small blog, but this will have to do as a supplement for my many memories I hope to keep with me forever and ever. ***

My Grandpa Richards passed away on Dec. 29th. Jonathon and I were up in Washington for the Christmas break. He had a stroke while on a cruise a few weeks ago and a couple of minor strokes following and had been downhill since. I felt like before I left for WA, that would be the last time I saw my grandpa and decided to say my goodbyes. I felt peace and comfort while knowing this would be the last time I saw him.

At first I felt a bit guilty that I hadn't spent more time with him when he was in the hospital. I quickly realized this does no good and decided to focus on the good memories I got to build with him through the years.

I'd like to share some of these.

My favorite memory of my grandpa (and grandma) is that they were my absolute #1 fans for lacrosse. They never missed a game - showing up in their "Jordan Lacrosse" shirts sitting on their beach chairs, snow or shine. I could always count on them to be there. This is something I KNOW my grandpa was so proud of - his state champ grand daughter!

I think his favorite story to tell people went something like this:

"I gotta tell ya... when we were getting ready to go to Nancy's state championship game (the THIRD one she won) we got a phone call from Nancy as we were going out the door. She told Grandma to bring her a list of things; 'Vitamin C, pickle juice, water. Oh, one more thing- Tell Grandpa to bring his wallet!' You see, I normally paid her $1 for every point she scored in her games. I told her for her last game, I'd pay her $6 for each point and $3 for every assist. Boy, I'll tell ya- she cleaned out my wallet that game; $48 dollars that game cost me!"

I loved when he told this story, again and again. It always made me smile knowing I'd made him proud and that he wanted to brag all about me and put me on a pedestal.

My next favorite memory is my college graduation. After I received my diploma, I walked down to my family before going back to my seat and Grandpa pulled me in for a hug and said "I'm proud of ya, babe" with tears in his eyes and the most sincere smile I've ever seen. Grandpa was a big reason behind my decision to go into the dental field. I loved all his stories and how he loved being a dentist. This was a special bond between us and led to many conversations only dental nuts would be interested in. Which leads to one of my next favorite memories...

When my grandpa came in to be a patient for me at my dental hygiene school. Haha- even just typing that made me laugh! From the minute he walked in the doors, he was the star of the show. Everyone knew who he was and loved him. In school, we had specific patient type requirements we needed to fulfill. One of these was a geriatric (older person) and a more moderate to severe amount of calculus. Since Grandpa worked for both, he got passed around at school to help people fulfill all their requirements. And since we were in school, it took four three-hour sessions to finish the job.

Grandpa came early to every appointment. He loved being around all the girls in school and telling all his dental stories (This is mostly why they took three hours :) and even pretended to start a riot when he proclaimed to all the other patients that HE was THE dentist. Oh, and we can't forget when he pretended one of the girls hurt him while cleaning and then laughed heartily and said just kidding (FYI: that is the WORST thing you can do to a dental hygiene student and grandpa knows better!) I smiled at the look on his face when he found out I was going to give him an injection (total shock and terror) and grinned from ear to ear when he told me that night what I great shot I am (pun intended) because he was still numb 6 hours later.

I was really lucky to live so close by my grandma and grandpa. Jonathon and I went over to their place quite often to watch BYU football and basketball with them and to drop off or pick up Cosmo while we were living in our apartment.

One of Jonathon's favorite memories of Gene is when we were visiting their place and Grandpa and Grandma were in their kitchen eating sandwiches for lunch. Grandpa was on a stool near the sink for some reason and grandma was at the table. We walked in the room and heard:

"Cannon got mustard on his head." -Gene

"Well, get it off, Gene!" -Ann yelling

"He won't let me!" -Gene yelling louder

So we walk over and sure enough there is a huge plop of yellow mustard on top of Cannon's head sliding down the side of his face. Like Cannon REALLY climbed up on the table and dipped his head in mustard... LOL- Grandpa just put too much on his sandwich and it fell onto Cannon's head. So Jonathon went over to help wipe and when he was about three inches from his head, Cannon snarled at him and tried to bite. So, Grandpa clearly knew Cannon. This entire story was hilarious.

Grandpa and Grandma

4th of July at Brighton Breakfast

Grandpa, me, and Grandma at my college graduation

Me and Grandpa

Our last picture together

I love you Grandpa. Watch over all of us while you're having fun up there!

Riding the bus

I rode the bus to and from school last night for the first time in a couple months. It reminded me of just how terrible it was to not have a car and realize again how hard the last couple years have been for us. Nancy and I genuinely think the Lord put "blinders" over our eyes to help us survive and de-sensitize us to how crappy that was.

We have always been grateful for the Lord providing opportunities for us with the different forms of transportation necessary to do all we needed to do. They haven't always been the easiest or nicest, but it did the job to get us the places we needed to be. Most importantly, school! Our main form of transportation after our car, Lexie, had the head gasket go out, was the UTA trax and bus. We could usually make it to the bus stop in Lexie, but no further. Or we borrowed Grandma and Grandpa Richards huge, old, trusty Suburban (we named it Gene cuz it reminded us of him) to get to the bus stop (It cost $100 to fill up.. this is why it only took us to the bus stop)

You know you are are riding the bus or trax in Utah if...

1-You park and have to SPRINT to the bus stop to make sure it doesn't leave without you or else you have to wait an hour for the next one and you're late to class

2-You wait outside in the cold until your toes, fingers, and nose are numb and never know if it really is even going to come

3-You see 20 open seats on the bus and settle down in a good spot, then a huge, smelly person comes and chooses to sit RIGHT NEXT TO YOU

4-The bus doesn't need any music because you can hear three different choices of songs at once coming out of headphones full blast (usually vulgar) so everyone else can conveniently listen too!

5-Your lungs burn from the fumes, yes, I said FUMES of alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and probably paint thinner. Oh, and B.O. and periodontal disease. And poop.

6-At the end of the ride, you can tell your spouse Tino's entire life story because he was talking on his cell phone loudly the ENTIRE 45 minute drive... if only you knew Spanish.

7-It takes you 30 minutes to read what normally should take just 15 because the ride is so bumpy and makes you sick by the end

8-You have to carry your pepper spray in hand the entire time until you make it home because of the creepy old guys that don't stop staring at you (From Nancy)

9-You see a larger woman pull out a 2 Liter of 7-Up from her purse and chug it down to the last drop. Yes, a 2 Liter. We have pictures as proof.

Needless to say, we LOVE having our new car. It is good to have these little moments to remind us to appreciate the blessings we have. And having a car IS A BLESSING, not a right!!

We'll post pictures of Zip (our new, perfect-for-us-at-this-time-in-our-lives car) soon.

-Jonathon and Nancy

Typical "Trax Person" (this is what we call them, or TP for short)

Being an example- especially when you don't even know it!

Each and every fall season for the last four years, I have been fortunate enough to referee high school girl's lacrosse Super Sevens for my old coaches Fish and Soni (Taylor) Bartlett. It's a great way to get exercise in and make some extra $money$, especially while I was getting through college (You know.. all those crazy jobs you have in college just trying to get by!)

Some weeks I absolutely loved reffing. The girls would be so nice and cute and I got to teach them how to be better players and help them learn new moves like how to have a better cradle and how to play bottom-hand defense. Other weeks, I hated reffing. The parents would yell at me on the field and tell me all the calls I missed (Even though I've been playing for NINE years compared to their being a fan for one or two... Have you even READ the rule book??) and how awful I was. This made me really sad because for each game, I really did try my best to be fair and make the right calls. It really brought me down and was extremely frustrating.

At the end of the last game this season, there was an envelope labeled "Nancy" sitting on the score table. I thought it was probably just a check for reffing and put it in my pocket. When I got home, I pulled it out and opened it. Inside was a full-page, handwritten letter, cute sparkly "N" keychain, and a Subway gift card.

This was a thank you letter/present from one of the girls I had reffed. She started playing the first year as a freshman so she was one of the few that had been there all along with me the last four years. Paraphrasing, she wrote:

"I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me the last four years. You have no idea what a great example you've been for me as a lacrosse player and friend and when I grow up I hope to be just like you. Love, Lacey #14"

As you can imagine with my sensitive little tear ducts, I started crying. How CUTE is this girl??! Mostly I was emotional thinking about how I never even thought of someone watching my actions. I thought about how I was dreading and even hating having to go some weeks. Did my attitude bring others down? Was she watching to see how I 'reacted' to the world at those times?

We never know when someone is watching us, looking to us as an example. Don't you think i would have acted differently if I knew each week this girl looked up to me as a role model? It is our responsibility to help others and lift people up. It's the sure way to happiness.

I'll be forever grateful to Lacey and HER example to me and for helping me to have this little "a-ha moment."

Be an example- always. You never know when someone is watching you and your decisions.

p.s. I can't forget to mention that I am grateful too for this Super Sevens because through this I got to meet Smallz and Shalece Hansen who are awesome and I love them. I made some eternal friends with this lacrosse business. :)