I feel so lame. And.. blah.
**I want to be working full time. I'm tired of working 1-2 days a week.
1) To get rid of all this boredom
2) I love being a hygienist! and
3) I NEED MONEY. Jeez louise- Our student loans are going to take FOR-EV-ER to pay back at this rate. :(
**I want to have my HOME. Jonathon and I are still living upstairs in a room at his parents place. Don't get me wrong, we are GRATEFUL to be here and have loved it. BUT, I am tired of having boxes all over the place and being surrounded by CLUTTER. I want a quiet place of my own to go. And my big comfy bed. The family downstairs bought a house and should be moving in September 8th so we'll be moving down to the basement sooner than later and I'll finally get to create my little home.
**I am in a spiritual RUT. I have this sense of WANTING to become more knowledgable in the Gospel and learn more about myself. I just haven't made any sort of plan to put it in action.
And I've learned the importance of reaching out to new people-- whether it is in your ward, neighborhood, whatever- WELCOME THEM! It is TOUGH to be the new person. I am the type of person where I feel okay to go introduce myself, but it would still be nice. It makes me wish I'd done a better job in the past for new-comers.
AND Jonathon and I want church callings! For some reason when we move into new wards, it takes forever for us to get callings. Our first ward, we set up THREE appointments with the bishop for this very purpose and Jonathon never got one before we moved a year later! We've been here 2 months now and I've asked twice but no news yet. :(
**I am also in a physical RUT. I'll preface by saying I know I'm not FAT, but my body just feels gross. I've eaten so much sugar and unhealthy foods and haven't been running and exercising like I got in the habit of the last 8 months while I trained for my marathon. I miss that happy, healthy feeling.
**I miss having friends. :( This one has been especially tough. I miss having friends nearby to call up to go to get ice cream with me or go shopping. I miss seeing my family at parties and KNOWING and recognizing faces when I go to the grocery store. I didn't realize how much I took this for granted in Utah.
My friend Brad Butler said the other day "Isn't that what your husband is there for?" which is true. And I LOVE Jonathon (I think everyone knows that by now, right??) and we've had a lot of fun but it's also important to have your own separate lives and some independence. I want a GIRL friend who is my age I can call up and hang out with. But.. where do I just FIND that? A friend website? The local friend pound? Puh.
Again, I LOVE it here in WA and don't want people to go around saying "Did you read how MISERABLE Nancy is up there? I can't believe Jonathon would drag her up there!" This is NOT the case!
I'm simply saying I am in that awkward growing stage.
I have had some AWESOME experiences so far in Washington and met some wonderful people. I know this is where we are supposed to be- no doubt about it. I just need to get some direction back in my life.
2 comments:
Oh nancy, it will come. You're in limbo and limbo sucks. There is nothing you can do except have patience. And some times it takes awhile. You are one of the best people I know and there are so many people waiting to become friends with you. :) What about institute? I wonder if you can still go even though you are done with school and married. I think you can. And that would probably help the spiritual part and the friend part. And try to find friends in your ward that are in a similar situation as you, if that is possible. Talk to your RS pres and get some Visiting teachers and teachees.
Also since you feel so much disruption in a few areas of your life, focus on one or two to get started on and then add on. That's always helped me.
I know that these things won't fix everything, but they'll help until the limbo is over. I love you Nancy and I am so proud of you!
Aww, sorry you're in a rut Nancy! (I couldn't help but laugh at "local friend pound." They totally should have one of those...) I'm with Shirley- you should get visiting teachers-ees. We're terrible at making friends, so I don't have a lot of advice for you. Uhhhh.. listen to Shirley! There.
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